| 10 Apr 2008 @ 01:03, by David Bartholomew|
The Battle of the Lightworker: A Challenge to Continue Dodging Fear in a Fear-Filled World
[excerpted from DoingIt!, April, 2006]
Joan and I were talking one night recently—having one of those long, rambling talks that don’t necessarily end up where you think they would have based on where they started. Where neither is trying to be right and both come out with a new understanding and an entirely new perspective. Almost like an archaeological dig where the team knows there are some bones and fossils and shards present—without knowing what those might be or having any at-stakeness in what they might reveal-- and new knowledge of the past is achieved based on unearthing and piecing it all together.
We came up with what feels—deep within me—like an awareness of what goes on with us “lightworkers”—any who fall under a heading of maintaining a focus on possibility and betterment for the human race, the planet and beyond-- and why we, as a group, tend to feel the urgency to change for the better as swiftly as possible.
You can try this on by first remembering where you and/or others ever voiced something to the effect of—“I am doing everything I can to get it right this time… because I am not coming back into a body for another reincarnation.” Or something like that.
I have said this. I have felt it. I have had conversations with numerous others and overheard even more spiritual folk, workshop junkies, healers, etc., voice this motivation, this drive, to shed every degree of attachment and resistance, small living and karmic debt… from deep places of seeming exhaustion, having gone through countless lifetimes of what is absolutely no longer desired. Been there, done that. Bought the t-shirt.
Joan and I wound our way through a lot of backstreets and alleys of dialogue before she stumbled back on what I consider a main thoroughfare toward some degree of enlightenment on this subject when she began recounting her sense that…
…perhaps our urgency to get “there”, is based first on remembrances of where “there”—home—is; then on numerous recollections of times we were “almost there” and didn’t quite make it; on the disappointment inherent in each round of having to begin again at square one, like a kid on a limited allowance having to drop another quarter in a pinball game upon the flashing red of another “game over”. All of those accumulated points and tokens… gone. Back to level one. Dejection.
Maybe in the deep-seated sadness we feel, when events hinting of progress yield more of “history repeating itself”, are echoes of past lives and fallen civilizations. Atlantis, Egypt, the Fall of Rome, who knows? Maybe we know what it is like to go back to square one after having, as Agent Maxwell Smart used to say in that nasal twang of his, “Missed it by that much.”
As Joan brought up this concept I could almost feel some bodily resonance, like the sadness that sometimes wells up when someone really sees what is going on with you, underneath, and you can’t hide it any longer.
There is real value in tapping into this feeling and this awareness as it feels real to us, because the first step in any healing process can be to acknowledge a condition might be present.
So, what then from here? Assuming you can relate to this on any level, what do we now do to move forward?
We believe the first thing is to acknowledge that the fear of something potentially happening… causes us to attract it, or circumstances of a similar vibration … to us. So, we need to become vigilant in recognizing how much our want—of us to all “get it”, might be more of a disguised not want—of us missing the target again.
Those of us who know and feel what is possible for all of us at this juncture, if we can all just rise above the fear-based small stuff, are so excited for it, and trying to cheer others on; but this new awareness of which Joan spoke, calls for us to catch any of our own fear about what is equally possible if we continue instead on toward another fall… halt it in its tracks… raise it up and release it to something higher.
As we work toward helping others
to recognize and illuminate
their shadow side,
there is also a call for us
to continue to address
more subtle and insidious levels
of our own.
At every turn—where there is a reaction, a heart pang against something, we must offer up the against-ness and summon up an even higher desire for that which we are for. We must be more for love, than against fear. Our activism must be pro-active, not reactive. Degrees of trust must always overshadow those of doubt. The Truth of Love must always be stronger than the illusion of the fear, pain and their ilk.
Tests must be seen as what they are—just tests. We can discern that which is bait and choose to not get hooked.
We are DoingIt! as we recognize and dodge the fear… in a fear-filled world.